|The 6th Infusion: Day 115
Journal entry by Michael March — 4/29/2016
We once again made our way to Baltimore, MD for my bi-weekly Cancer Treatment at Johns Hopkins. We left early and for the most part, I slept the entire way. The night before was another one of those crazy nights I have had recently, so the nap to Baltimore was helpful.
We got to JHH a little after 9am, and that made us almost an hour early. So while Tammy was parking the Jeep in the basement, I was checking in, which is our normal routine. However, by the time she was arriving in the waiting room, I had already been called back and my vitals were taken. The chatter back there among the nurses was how many people were not there for their appointments, and my doctor, Bonerigo would probably see me right away.
I stepped out into the lobby and Tammy was just walking in, and then we were called back almost instantly. We walked into the examination room, and there sat one of my doctors and the research nurse, Trish. After some normal small talk, Trish let us know after more examinations of the previous scans, and other tests, the tumors had "stabilized", and then her eyes lit up and she said that was really good news.
The conversation then was more about how things are going, how my lungs feel, if the pain had changed, and if the headaches were still there and things like that. We spent a little while talking about my mental state and how I have been dealing with things or haven't been dealing with things. My HopDocs have offered me a chance to talk with one of their mental health professionals that are tied in with the Cancer Center and I took them up on their offer. I figure, the more people I have to talk to, other than family and friends, the better.
After spending at least 45 minutes to an hour with Laura, it was determined I was probably okay, but she did give an indication that I might just be "weird". That was the word she used, not me. But, I feel much better knowing my being "weird" has been clinically diagnosed at Johns Hopkins Hospital, one of the world's leading hospitals and centers of medical learning.
After being told what I already knew by the shrink, I went upstairs for my 6th infusion. I was there early, everything went according to schedule and Tammy and I were out of the hospital and on our way home by 1pm or so. Of course I also slept the entire way home.
The take away from the events of today is that the tumors are no longer increasing in size and have stabilized which is a good indicator the treatment is helping. I was also told I should stop looking at this as "lung cancer" and lean towards "HPV Cancer in my lungs". I think that is like dividing ice from snow, but okay. Over all, this did raise my spirits a little, and actually increased my outlook a little. Now, if they can dial in the pain killers a bit better and the air would clear of the pollen and the other crap, life would get better.
I think my HopDocs are afraid I might wig out, or not be able to handle whatever this is and whatever this is doing to me. I know I am having trouble dealing with this whole dying way the hell too young, and I am not sure how I am supposed to deal with that, or how anyone is supposed to deal with it, but I really have no other choice than to just deal with it in my way.
Which it seems might just be "weird". I can deal with that.
Our next trip for infusion number 7 is Friday the 13th, of May. Nice..... just frikken nice.
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